Often we meet different people in this world, some stay longer in our lives and some leave early. Some we tend to forget easily but very few people leave a permanent mark on our souls for the rest of the life.
This post is dedicated to such a friend I had met, whom I can never forget. We crossed paths for a very short time but her memory will remain everlasting and fresh in my heart.
July 2010
The First Meeting
We were out shopping, when my hubby received a call on his mobile that his friend is coming to visit us with his wife for the first time. We returned home. After a while they came. I was in the kitchen, when a shy yet vibrant girl with bright eyes and warm smile greeted me with a very friendly "Assalam u alaikum". Little that I knew at that time that this warm smile is here to remain in my heart forever.
We became quite friendly over a cup of tea and snacks. And before we knew it was time to go.
The First Call
One fine sunny afternoon, I received a call on my landline. It was the first of the many to come in the years ahead.
"Assalam u alaikum", the same warm and friendly salam. "Aap dopeher mai free hotee hain, mai aap say baat kar saktee hoon?" (Are you usually free in the afternoon? Can I talk to to you?)
"Haan free he thee, koi khaas kaam nahi hota dopeher mai." (Yeah I'm free, not much busy.)
We chatted and chatted for a long time as Baby "I" was taking her usual afternoon nap.
April 2015
I got her call she was crying frantically...."What happened, why are you crying, everything OK?", I was tensed too. "Doctor says she is operating me right away..", she was panicked. "Don't be scared and be brave. It's going to be Ok. Just send Little M to our place. We will take care of him", I reassured her. It was the day Baby A was born.
Little M spent the day with us and my kids were overjoyed with the sudden day-spend program. In the evening we all paid the newly-arrived Baby A a visit. A cute little tiny baby sleeping peacefully in her cot. M didn't want to go back he wanted to stay with us for the night too but we promised him we will bring him back the next day.
We were all so happy. Little did we know this happiness is so short lived.
June 2015
It was Little "M's" Third Birthday. All the friends were invited. My daughters "I" and "E" were excited too. Children running around, playing games. Ladies chatting and gossiping. It was the perfect party ever. Complete with her lively jokes and laughter and delicious food. All her recipes used to be delicious and cooked without onions.
As destiny would have it, it was the last party we were enjoying at her home. Or the last party that we were really enjoying.
June 2015
The week after we had celebrated M's birthday a picnic was planned. It was around 12 to 15 families. We all hit the pool to kill the heat. Kids were enjoying a lot and we adults enjoyed more than them, because it was the first time even we ladies got a chance to be in water. (Which is very rare in the part of world I belong to). We were all very tired that day but it was a day worth spent. A day when she was happy too.
She discussed with me about going to perform umrah on the coming weekend and I was telling her not to go as Baby A was too small for road travel. But she really wanted to go. She had to go !!!
June 2015
The Last Message
"We are going for Umrah, remember us in prayers".
"Oh, You haven't yet left, will you travel at night?", I was worried as night travel is tricky on a dark highway. I had this uneasy feeling though we had done this a million times before too.
August 2010
We were four in the car, the men at the front and me with baby I and her at the back. We were headed to our first umrah together. It was her first time and since I had performed an umrah before I was explaining the details to her. It was a long journey ahead, we were talking happily. All of a sudden she exclaimed "Oh WOW !!! MAshaAllah!!! SubhanAllah!!!" "What!!", I asked. "Look at the camels...WOW". And I just sighed :)
That was her style. The excitement in her voice and an aura of happiness around her was something one couldn't miss and made her personality all the more adorable.
October 2010
It was finally decided that we were going for hajj and she was also going with us. We were happy to be going together. All the preparations were in full swing. Daily we used to discuss over our afternoon calls, about the clothes to be packed, the shoes to be bought etc, etc.
One day the men (mine and her hubby) were out to play and she was spending the day with me. We cooked Biryani. "Mai tou biryani mai piyaaz nahi daalti" (I don't put onions in Biryani). I turned around in astonishment, "Piyaz kay beghair kaisay pakatee ho" (How can you cook it without onions). And then she taught me an onion-less biryani recipe, which tasted really delicious too.
We spent the whole day together, laughing chatting and paying with baby "I" till our husbands returned. Then we had Biryani for dinner.
The days flew by and soon it was time to leave for Hajj.
We first performed our Umrah and then went to Jeddah to stay at a relative's place. The trip was full of enjoyment as she kept on entertaining everyone with her jokes and smiles. The night we were to leave for Mina, her excitement had no limits. She was literally jumping with joy and happiness. The three day at Mina was tiring but her spirit was alive. She kept everyone around her happy. The last day it was raining cats and dogs in Mina and she was out there in the rain, playing and jumping around. The kind of excitement and energy she had was toxic, we were all enjoying.
After completing Hajj we headed to Madina. It was her first trip to the Holy City. We were quite tired after our long journey and it was the middle of the night. As soon as she stepped in the courtyard of the Holy Mosque she was brimming with joy and happiness. "MashAllah !! SubhanAllah!!" she exclaimed.
She couldn't rest the whole night waiting to go in Riaz-ul-Jannah in the morning. As soon as the gates opened after Fajr Prayer, she was running ahead with me holding baby I and clumsily following her.
We returned home after our hajj all tired and happy that we got a chance to perform an ultimate journey of our lives.
Time flew and flew and our afternoon chats became a regular ritual. Once I was not at home, visiting a neighbor. As soon as I returned, I found the landline ringing. "Hello", I said. "WHERE HAD YOU BEEN, I HAVE BEEN CALLING SINCE AN HOUR", she was angry. "I was at my neighbor's", "I was worried", came her innocent angry voice. This was her quality, she would be so possessive and over anxious if she couldn't get in touch with anyone on time. So after that day I made sure I would message her if I'm about to leave around the time of her expected call to avoid giving her unnecessary stress.
April 2011
It was a very rainy afternoon. She was home alone and scared of the thunder. I was on call with her, assuring her that it soon shall pass. In the evening the weather was still wonderful so we made a sudden plan to enjoy in a park. Eating gol gappay and having rides with Baby I, she was the happiest soul on Earth. She was enjoying the rides too even more than BaBy I :). The happiness on her face with innocent laughter, the occasional happy claps, I can never forget the air of excitement. Suddenly a loud thunder came with some raindrops. We gathered our things and ran (literally) towards the cars. It started raining heavily again and we came back home all hail and hearty.
June 2011
I was hospitalized in an emergency and had to go through a surgery. After I was discharged and came home my husband had to travel out of the city. She called me up the night before and asked me how am I going to manage being home alone with a naughty toddler "I". The sweet heart that she was she offered me to stay at my place. I told her it's okay and I could manage but still she came for a day, with cooked food. It was a wonderful day we spent together. Talking and having fun with "I".
She knew how to make everyone around her happy and forget their sorrows and while she was with me I totally forgot what I had been through in the past few days. The pain transformed in contentment with life that I still have people around me who care for me and like to spend time around me.
November 2011
I was travelling when she gave me the news that she was finally expecting. It was her deep desire and had been praying for it all along. I was happy for her. The days that followed were a total excitement. We used to discuss about the pregnancy a lot. Talking about what to do, what to eat, what precautions to be taken.
Once she was at our place in the evening and craving something savory. I fried some kababs with tea which she loved very much. "Buhut dino say dil chah raha tha tumharay kabab khanay ka, buhut maza aya MashaAllah!" (I wanted to have your kababs since many days, I'm enjoying it MashaAllah).
June 2012
Baby "M" was born, and we all were excited. Gathered around her in hospital with flowers and gifts. She was weak but still full of life and energy, and happy of course.
Days kept passing, she was a busy mommy now. But she always found out time to call me and have a hearty chat.
As my baby "I" was growing up she became her most favorite aunt and she used to wait for weekends to meet her.
July 2012
Our husbands decided for an umrah trip in Ramadan. But for some reasons I couldn't travel and neither could she because Baby M was so young. So I spent two whole days at her place with my daughter "I". Her baby "M" was a month old by now. We had great fun, talking endlessly at nights, sleeping through the day while both of our men were away. My girl didn't want to come back from her place.
November 2012
It was Eid ul Adha and we had a big Pot Luck party at her place and all the friends enjoyed yummy food with even yummier gossip. I wasn't feeling so well those days but just the thought of meeting her and having yummy food cooked by her, was enough for me to carry myself over to her house. Her place was like a second home for us, hardly ever a weekend passed when we didn't meet.
After Eid finally it was the day my Baby "E" was born. Little "I" had mixed emotions on seeing her baby sis and she was confused between being happy and jealous at the same time. And here she came so happy and excited, with a big bunch of colorful balloons to welcome E in our world.
Wherever she went she brought laughter and happiness around. All the kids were running after her for the balloons and causing a ruckus, suddenly a balloon popped loudly enough to scare the innocent newly born E. All went quiet for a while. Pin drop Silence. And she suddenly exclaimed "Yaaaaayyy".....and the weak cries of E were drowned in the clapping and laughter of all of us.
March 2013
We decided to join some Quranic education classes together. So on weekends we used to go along with the kids. She was one of the brightest students of our class. Always motivated to learn and practice new things. Along with her kind heart and innocent manners she became everyone's
favorite in no time.
June 2013
It was a small ladies gathering she invited us to celebrate Little M's first birthday. My little I was too excited for the birthday party. All the kids enjoyed a lot, singing, dancing and playing games.
After two weeks it was I's birthday, as both were born in the same month. Her favorite aunt remembered it and was more excited than the actual birthday girl :). Though we were not having a party she dropped by at our place with amazing gifts. My daughter has those memories still fresh in her mind and those gifts still remembered, Its not actually the material things but the sincerity of her emotions we still cherish.
The wheels of time churned our friendship into a special bond, which even our kids could feel. Not even a single day would pass when we wouldn't chat for hours or message each other. Our weekend get togethers were always special with her jokes. She would be the happy and chirpy person keeping the party alive. And most of all she was the favorite of all the kids.
March 2015
It was late winter or early spring, her hubby was out of town. As she was expecting Baby A and was home alone she requested me to spend some days with her. I was more than happy to stay with her and my daughters I and E were happy too. The kids would play together the whole day and even late through the night. We would have to put them in separate rooms in order to get them to sleep. There was a park near her place and we would visit there in evenings. All of us enjoyed those few days together.
June 2015
It was the first day of Ramadan and I was fasting and busy with the small kids as well. At the back of my mind I was thinking about her and wanted to call her, but was occupied with so much at home that I kept delaying. It was only after taraweeh prayers that I found some time to call. But before I could reach my phone my husband received a call. He looked clearly distressed, got out of the room to talk in privacy. After a few minutes I entered the room and heard "car" and "accident", I asked whats wrong. " 'S' and her family were returning from umrah and their car has met with a bad accident. It's an emergency, I''m leaving now they might need help." I felt as if the world's spinning too fast and things are whirling around. I tried to find words about everyone's safety and my hubby said "Baby A is not in a good condition, you just need to pray".
And pray I did. I can't even remember properly what happened afterwards as everything happened so suddenly. My hubby left for makkah along with another friend, leaving us behind to just pray. He knew it all along what had actually happened but hid the truth from us. I made a gazillion frantic calls on her number all night long but all in vain. Nobody answered!! How could have anyone answered!! There was No one!! All night long I talked to our mutual friends who were as anxious as me and as oblivious to the developments.
It was the next day Friday morning I got to contact her relative in another city who told me that she had passed away on the spot. She had been taken to a hospital nearby and pronounced dead. Along with her father-in-law and her Baby A. It was too much for me to handle.
I just couldn't accept the fact that she was no more. I still kept checking my phone for some activity on her whatsapp or any missed call I might get half hoping that maybe the lady had wrong information. Maybe there would be a terrible misunderstanding. Maybe, maybe!!
I called up my husband and he tried to console me but nothing anyone could do or say could bring her back. It was like life had played a hard cruel joke. We couldn't even bid her a farewell. We couldn't be there with her at the most difficult time.
It was very hard for me to explain to my kids where their favorite aunt is. Just after 3 days my daughter I turned 6 and that was the first time she realized something is amiss. Aunty S hasn't called or paid a visit. The Eid that followed was the quietest Eid I had ever spent, with no one to apply mehendi on my hands or my daughter's hands. With no one to be so excited about the festivities and new clothes.
Life has never been the same after that. There are no panicky frantic or nervous phone calls on rainy thunderous afternoons. Or the happiness or laughter at the weekend get togethers. Or the innocent smile and the hearty "Assalam u Alaikum". Seems like it was eons ago when we used to laugh at silly jokes.
So many small and big memories that can't be poured in words and expressed in a page. We would forever cherish her innocent smile and hearty laughter. And always wish that she's in a better place. Amen.
This post is dedicated to such a friend I had met, whom I can never forget. We crossed paths for a very short time but her memory will remain everlasting and fresh in my heart.
July 2010
The First Meeting
We were out shopping, when my hubby received a call on his mobile that his friend is coming to visit us with his wife for the first time. We returned home. After a while they came. I was in the kitchen, when a shy yet vibrant girl with bright eyes and warm smile greeted me with a very friendly "Assalam u alaikum". Little that I knew at that time that this warm smile is here to remain in my heart forever.
We became quite friendly over a cup of tea and snacks. And before we knew it was time to go.
The First Call
One fine sunny afternoon, I received a call on my landline. It was the first of the many to come in the years ahead.
"Assalam u alaikum", the same warm and friendly salam. "Aap dopeher mai free hotee hain, mai aap say baat kar saktee hoon?" (Are you usually free in the afternoon? Can I talk to to you?)
"Haan free he thee, koi khaas kaam nahi hota dopeher mai." (Yeah I'm free, not much busy.)
We chatted and chatted for a long time as Baby "I" was taking her usual afternoon nap.
April 2015
I got her call she was crying frantically...."What happened, why are you crying, everything OK?", I was tensed too. "Doctor says she is operating me right away..", she was panicked. "Don't be scared and be brave. It's going to be Ok. Just send Little M to our place. We will take care of him", I reassured her. It was the day Baby A was born.
Little M spent the day with us and my kids were overjoyed with the sudden day-spend program. In the evening we all paid the newly-arrived Baby A a visit. A cute little tiny baby sleeping peacefully in her cot. M didn't want to go back he wanted to stay with us for the night too but we promised him we will bring him back the next day.
We were all so happy. Little did we know this happiness is so short lived.
June 2015
It was Little "M's" Third Birthday. All the friends were invited. My daughters "I" and "E" were excited too. Children running around, playing games. Ladies chatting and gossiping. It was the perfect party ever. Complete with her lively jokes and laughter and delicious food. All her recipes used to be delicious and cooked without onions.
As destiny would have it, it was the last party we were enjoying at her home. Or the last party that we were really enjoying.
June 2015
The week after we had celebrated M's birthday a picnic was planned. It was around 12 to 15 families. We all hit the pool to kill the heat. Kids were enjoying a lot and we adults enjoyed more than them, because it was the first time even we ladies got a chance to be in water. (Which is very rare in the part of world I belong to). We were all very tired that day but it was a day worth spent. A day when she was happy too.
She discussed with me about going to perform umrah on the coming weekend and I was telling her not to go as Baby A was too small for road travel. But she really wanted to go. She had to go !!!
June 2015
The Last Message
"We are going for Umrah, remember us in prayers".
"Oh, You haven't yet left, will you travel at night?", I was worried as night travel is tricky on a dark highway. I had this uneasy feeling though we had done this a million times before too.
August 2010
We were four in the car, the men at the front and me with baby I and her at the back. We were headed to our first umrah together. It was her first time and since I had performed an umrah before I was explaining the details to her. It was a long journey ahead, we were talking happily. All of a sudden she exclaimed "Oh WOW !!! MAshaAllah!!! SubhanAllah!!!" "What!!", I asked. "Look at the camels...WOW". And I just sighed :)
That was her style. The excitement in her voice and an aura of happiness around her was something one couldn't miss and made her personality all the more adorable.
October 2010
It was finally decided that we were going for hajj and she was also going with us. We were happy to be going together. All the preparations were in full swing. Daily we used to discuss over our afternoon calls, about the clothes to be packed, the shoes to be bought etc, etc.
One day the men (mine and her hubby) were out to play and she was spending the day with me. We cooked Biryani. "Mai tou biryani mai piyaaz nahi daalti" (I don't put onions in Biryani). I turned around in astonishment, "Piyaz kay beghair kaisay pakatee ho" (How can you cook it without onions). And then she taught me an onion-less biryani recipe, which tasted really delicious too.
We spent the whole day together, laughing chatting and paying with baby "I" till our husbands returned. Then we had Biryani for dinner.
The days flew by and soon it was time to leave for Hajj.
We first performed our Umrah and then went to Jeddah to stay at a relative's place. The trip was full of enjoyment as she kept on entertaining everyone with her jokes and smiles. The night we were to leave for Mina, her excitement had no limits. She was literally jumping with joy and happiness. The three day at Mina was tiring but her spirit was alive. She kept everyone around her happy. The last day it was raining cats and dogs in Mina and she was out there in the rain, playing and jumping around. The kind of excitement and energy she had was toxic, we were all enjoying.
After completing Hajj we headed to Madina. It was her first trip to the Holy City. We were quite tired after our long journey and it was the middle of the night. As soon as she stepped in the courtyard of the Holy Mosque she was brimming with joy and happiness. "MashAllah !! SubhanAllah!!" she exclaimed.
She couldn't rest the whole night waiting to go in Riaz-ul-Jannah in the morning. As soon as the gates opened after Fajr Prayer, she was running ahead with me holding baby I and clumsily following her.
We returned home after our hajj all tired and happy that we got a chance to perform an ultimate journey of our lives.
Time flew and flew and our afternoon chats became a regular ritual. Once I was not at home, visiting a neighbor. As soon as I returned, I found the landline ringing. "Hello", I said. "WHERE HAD YOU BEEN, I HAVE BEEN CALLING SINCE AN HOUR", she was angry. "I was at my neighbor's", "I was worried", came her innocent angry voice. This was her quality, she would be so possessive and over anxious if she couldn't get in touch with anyone on time. So after that day I made sure I would message her if I'm about to leave around the time of her expected call to avoid giving her unnecessary stress.
April 2011
It was a very rainy afternoon. She was home alone and scared of the thunder. I was on call with her, assuring her that it soon shall pass. In the evening the weather was still wonderful so we made a sudden plan to enjoy in a park. Eating gol gappay and having rides with Baby I, she was the happiest soul on Earth. She was enjoying the rides too even more than BaBy I :). The happiness on her face with innocent laughter, the occasional happy claps, I can never forget the air of excitement. Suddenly a loud thunder came with some raindrops. We gathered our things and ran (literally) towards the cars. It started raining heavily again and we came back home all hail and hearty.
June 2011
I was hospitalized in an emergency and had to go through a surgery. After I was discharged and came home my husband had to travel out of the city. She called me up the night before and asked me how am I going to manage being home alone with a naughty toddler "I". The sweet heart that she was she offered me to stay at my place. I told her it's okay and I could manage but still she came for a day, with cooked food. It was a wonderful day we spent together. Talking and having fun with "I".
She knew how to make everyone around her happy and forget their sorrows and while she was with me I totally forgot what I had been through in the past few days. The pain transformed in contentment with life that I still have people around me who care for me and like to spend time around me.
November 2011
I was travelling when she gave me the news that she was finally expecting. It was her deep desire and had been praying for it all along. I was happy for her. The days that followed were a total excitement. We used to discuss about the pregnancy a lot. Talking about what to do, what to eat, what precautions to be taken.
Once she was at our place in the evening and craving something savory. I fried some kababs with tea which she loved very much. "Buhut dino say dil chah raha tha tumharay kabab khanay ka, buhut maza aya MashaAllah!" (I wanted to have your kababs since many days, I'm enjoying it MashaAllah).
June 2012
Baby "M" was born, and we all were excited. Gathered around her in hospital with flowers and gifts. She was weak but still full of life and energy, and happy of course.
Days kept passing, she was a busy mommy now. But she always found out time to call me and have a hearty chat.
As my baby "I" was growing up she became her most favorite aunt and she used to wait for weekends to meet her.
July 2012
Our husbands decided for an umrah trip in Ramadan. But for some reasons I couldn't travel and neither could she because Baby M was so young. So I spent two whole days at her place with my daughter "I". Her baby "M" was a month old by now. We had great fun, talking endlessly at nights, sleeping through the day while both of our men were away. My girl didn't want to come back from her place.
November 2012
It was Eid ul Adha and we had a big Pot Luck party at her place and all the friends enjoyed yummy food with even yummier gossip. I wasn't feeling so well those days but just the thought of meeting her and having yummy food cooked by her, was enough for me to carry myself over to her house. Her place was like a second home for us, hardly ever a weekend passed when we didn't meet.
After Eid finally it was the day my Baby "E" was born. Little "I" had mixed emotions on seeing her baby sis and she was confused between being happy and jealous at the same time. And here she came so happy and excited, with a big bunch of colorful balloons to welcome E in our world.
Wherever she went she brought laughter and happiness around. All the kids were running after her for the balloons and causing a ruckus, suddenly a balloon popped loudly enough to scare the innocent newly born E. All went quiet for a while. Pin drop Silence. And she suddenly exclaimed "Yaaaaayyy".....and the weak cries of E were drowned in the clapping and laughter of all of us.
March 2013
We decided to join some Quranic education classes together. So on weekends we used to go along with the kids. She was one of the brightest students of our class. Always motivated to learn and practice new things. Along with her kind heart and innocent manners she became everyone's
favorite in no time.
June 2013
It was a small ladies gathering she invited us to celebrate Little M's first birthday. My little I was too excited for the birthday party. All the kids enjoyed a lot, singing, dancing and playing games.
After two weeks it was I's birthday, as both were born in the same month. Her favorite aunt remembered it and was more excited than the actual birthday girl :). Though we were not having a party she dropped by at our place with amazing gifts. My daughter has those memories still fresh in her mind and those gifts still remembered, Its not actually the material things but the sincerity of her emotions we still cherish.
The wheels of time churned our friendship into a special bond, which even our kids could feel. Not even a single day would pass when we wouldn't chat for hours or message each other. Our weekend get togethers were always special with her jokes. She would be the happy and chirpy person keeping the party alive. And most of all she was the favorite of all the kids.
March 2015
It was late winter or early spring, her hubby was out of town. As she was expecting Baby A and was home alone she requested me to spend some days with her. I was more than happy to stay with her and my daughters I and E were happy too. The kids would play together the whole day and even late through the night. We would have to put them in separate rooms in order to get them to sleep. There was a park near her place and we would visit there in evenings. All of us enjoyed those few days together.
June 2015
It was the first day of Ramadan and I was fasting and busy with the small kids as well. At the back of my mind I was thinking about her and wanted to call her, but was occupied with so much at home that I kept delaying. It was only after taraweeh prayers that I found some time to call. But before I could reach my phone my husband received a call. He looked clearly distressed, got out of the room to talk in privacy. After a few minutes I entered the room and heard "car" and "accident", I asked whats wrong. " 'S' and her family were returning from umrah and their car has met with a bad accident. It's an emergency, I''m leaving now they might need help." I felt as if the world's spinning too fast and things are whirling around. I tried to find words about everyone's safety and my hubby said "Baby A is not in a good condition, you just need to pray".
And pray I did. I can't even remember properly what happened afterwards as everything happened so suddenly. My hubby left for makkah along with another friend, leaving us behind to just pray. He knew it all along what had actually happened but hid the truth from us. I made a gazillion frantic calls on her number all night long but all in vain. Nobody answered!! How could have anyone answered!! There was No one!! All night long I talked to our mutual friends who were as anxious as me and as oblivious to the developments.
It was the next day Friday morning I got to contact her relative in another city who told me that she had passed away on the spot. She had been taken to a hospital nearby and pronounced dead. Along with her father-in-law and her Baby A. It was too much for me to handle.
I just couldn't accept the fact that she was no more. I still kept checking my phone for some activity on her whatsapp or any missed call I might get half hoping that maybe the lady had wrong information. Maybe there would be a terrible misunderstanding. Maybe, maybe!!
I called up my husband and he tried to console me but nothing anyone could do or say could bring her back. It was like life had played a hard cruel joke. We couldn't even bid her a farewell. We couldn't be there with her at the most difficult time.
It was very hard for me to explain to my kids where their favorite aunt is. Just after 3 days my daughter I turned 6 and that was the first time she realized something is amiss. Aunty S hasn't called or paid a visit. The Eid that followed was the quietest Eid I had ever spent, with no one to apply mehendi on my hands or my daughter's hands. With no one to be so excited about the festivities and new clothes.
Life has never been the same after that. There are no panicky frantic or nervous phone calls on rainy thunderous afternoons. Or the happiness or laughter at the weekend get togethers. Or the innocent smile and the hearty "Assalam u Alaikum". Seems like it was eons ago when we used to laugh at silly jokes.
So many small and big memories that can't be poured in words and expressed in a page. We would forever cherish her innocent smile and hearty laughter. And always wish that she's in a better place. Amen.
