The "F" Word

As much as we avoid the "F" word in our society, I'm about it to use it now. I am a FEMINIST, and proud to be one. There I said it!!!!

Recently a national debate has sparked up after an unfortunate incident at a reputed hospital in Karachi. And then the self realization struck to me. My views and opinions are Feminist. If being a sane and sensible feminine voice in the otherwise oppressive society means to be a feminist then so be it.

Victim shaming and blaming has always been easy in our country. Harassment is a daily routine through which many many girls go through on a daily basis. So much so that it has been normalized to such an extent that even the fine line between right and wrong has been crossed. And males take it upon as their right to harass the females outside. The unfriendly and meaningful stares, the pertinent ogling, the seemingly accidental jabs and nudges in a public transport. These are the problems our society is infested with. One can't even walk through a public place without being catcalled or whistled at. No discrimination whether you are old or young, rich or poor, hijabi or not, dressed all decked up or looking like a zombie. You just have to be a female on two legs and the men in our society will harass you as their own birth right.

With the rising popularity of social media on the internet, the harassment has also "Technologized".  The unnecessary Friendship requests and messages on profiles has been taken as a norm in our society. The alarming factor is that these things are so normal that no one is ready to accept the fact that IT IS WRONG.

People aren't even aware of the fact that what counts as harassment. According to the legal dictionary

http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/harassment

Harassment

(either harris-meant or huh-rass-meant) n. the act of systematic and/or continued unwanted and annoying actions of one party or a group, including threats and demands. The purposes may vary, including racial prejudice, personal malice, an attempt to force someone to quit a job or grant sexual favors, apply illegal pressure to collect a bill, or merely gain sadistic pleasure from making someone fearful or anxious. Such activities may be the basis for a lawsuit if due to discrimination based on race or sex, a violation on the statutory limitations on collection agencies, involve revenge by an ex-spouse, or be shown to be a form of blackmail ("I'll stop bothering you, if you'll go to bed with me"). The victim may file a petition for a "stay away" (restraining) order, intended to prevent contact by the offensive party. A systematic pattern of harassment by an employee against another worker may subject the employer to a lawsuit for failure to protect the worker.
According to this legal definition any repeated annoying behavior counts as harassment.

Requests from complete strangers can still be ignored easily, but if its coming from a Doctor, then the case gets complicated. As he already knows the personal details of his patients, its breach of privacy and medical trust that a patient puts on a doctor. As it is the patient is already vulnerable in such a situation.

There are ethical laws of a doctor and patient relation to be followed by all professionals. But sadly they are hardly ever taught in our medical schools. So even if there was a law the doctor would have been unaware of it. And since this culture of sending random requests is a norm he wouldn't have given it a second thought. Not even thinking about his own reputation.

But the feminist sensibility of my mind was shaken to see the people blaming and shaming the victim. Even the women embarrassing themselves by saying its not a big deal, just delete the request.  As long as this mentality strives in our society it will be impossible to have a secure and free environment for our female population.

And as a feminist its a long road ahead...but there is still light at the end of a tunnel and a silver lining to every cloud. Till then heads up! And Kudos to all those who are still fighting for the cause.

London Through The Eye

Once upon a time, when we visited London, to avoid the crowd and have some beautiful views, we planned a trip to the London Eye.

The view of this beautiful city from above is breathtaking and the pictures below don't even come close.

And after a long day, refreshing meal at Fish n Chips.

Birds relaxing by the river.

The Big Ben is undergoing some renovation, but a pic was compulsory :P

An Open Letter To The Random Lady I Met At The Airport

Among the many problems our society has, the two main I feel are

1. Invasion of Privacy
2. Obsession with Boy babies

Our society is living in a delusional world where boy babies are set up on a high pedestal since the day they are conceived. The girls are not even considered human enough worthy to be a child. And sadly all this realization hit me when I conceived my first daughter. Wherever I went, whoever I met, irrespective of class, education and region, the only thing I heard was a prayer for a Boy. Ignored all the crap as much as I could, the feminist inside me grew stronger day by day.

Fast forward to 9 years of marriage and here I'm enjoying life with three little angels. Once travelling through Karachi airport I met a security officer while going through a regular check. So the ladies in our country are usually horrified upon seeing me with not one, not two but THREE girls. Oh Man, they think, how distressed my poor soul would be. So this seemingly nice officer took it upon herself to tell me that there is this very powerful WAZEEFA she is going to gift me. And added that even she followed it to have a boy baby after having three girls.

Lady!!! First of all kudos to you and your extreme audacity to comment on my personal life. Secondly, I hadn't much time and the place wasn't suitable enough or I would have explained it to you how wrong you are on SO many levels.

Setting the religious debate against wazeefas aside, let me tell you this is really none of your concerns that how many kids and of what gender will I reproduce.

The random suggestions and prayers thrown across in front of my girls is really dangerous for my young girls' impressionable minds. What would they think about themselves? They are going to question their own existence. That aren't they good enough for me or are they less of a human child for their mother. And it is equally poisonous for young boys around, who since a very tender age sense all the unnecessary attention they are given. 

Since long I used to hear stories of poor families who would neglect a girl child's rights of education or even basics of life. My mind used to question all the inequality in this world.

But NO! It happens even with the modern people too. Right here in the middle of a big city surrounded by so called educated people when I hear conversations like "May Allah grant you a son this time", or  "When are I and E getting a baby brother?" I start thinking is it really 21st century? Is it really an Islamic society and am I really talking to a modern age educated woman. Yeah!

By asking such questions and by showing sympathy to mothers with girls we really degrade and embarrass our own selves as a woman. We show it to the world that though we spend thousands on education our minds are still regressive. We still can't fathom the simple fact that girls are no less than the boys. We still can't seem to imagine a girl outside the kitchen. And we still think that as a parent only sons can be our future security.

This mindset is the foundation of patriarchy in our society. We as women complain about it from time to time, but have we ever thought that its us who start it since the very birth of a child. Its the fact that nurtures in the young minds of our children. And then when they step outside in the world they act accordingly. 

It is very rightly said that mothers build or destroy people as a nation. We as mothers have this huge responsibility to raise a generation which is more tolerant, free of ignorance and more inclusive.

So, next time you see a mother with only girls, travelling somewhere happily, please don't take it upon yourself to stop her and give unnecessary advice. Because first, it not polite or appropriate to be personal to strangers on a public place. And secondly, I don't need all that crap.

And to all the mothers out there who have been there and done that, stay strong and have faith. A day will come when our society will hopefully understand. 

Till then Cheers!! 

A Trip to Chester Zoo

Chester Zoo boasts being one of the largest zoos in UK with great natural habitats for its residents. The zoo provides shelter to rare species of animals, birds, butterflies and fish which are in danger.
Its an amazing place with colorful sights.

A full day trip to the zoo with kids was an amazing experience.

Plan

Plan your visit in advance. You will have to keep in mind the travelling time and the time you spend there. The zoo habitat is HUGE and trust me even one whole day is not enough.

The zoo location is Moston Rd, Upton-by-Chester, Upton, Chester CH2 1EU, UK.

Visit their official website www.chesterzoo.org for all the information regarding directions, timings and tickets. Book you tickets in advance to avail some discounts and to save time on the queues.
And if you are coming by car there's a huge free parking :) Bring a lot of snacks, though there are many places for stopping and having a refreshing drink or snack, but we preferred our own stash of snacks so that we don't waste time :P

Be prepared to WALK, for kids you can take strollers on rent.

They have an amazing app where you can get a zoo map and the timings for different animal activities for the day. It can be downloaded at www.chesterzoo.org/campaigns/download-our-app.

Sights and Sounds

They say a picture is worth more than a thousand words, but these pictures can't do full justice to the beauty we witnessed and the memories we will cherish. The excitement and smiles on kids' face which turned to tantrums later :P cannot be described in words.

Elephants

An Elly is always a hit with kids and we visited them first. They were having their breakfast along with some interesting conversations😃

Gorgeous Girrafes

The giraffes were a beauty to watch.

Butterfly Section

There is an amazing collection of exotic and beautiful butterflies enclosed in a nature-like habitat fluttering along. Its an amazingly colorful collection and if you stand still they might land on your shoulder or hands :) The pics below just couldn't do justice to their beauty.

We found a chameleon too :)

Birds

The zoo has a large section for exotic birds specially the endangered species.

Jaguar

The jaguar and black panther were out on a rabbit hunting game, and we were lucky to witness that.

Tiger

Hey there sleepy head!

Lions

Lions were having fun too.

Boat Ride

There are Asian Themed Islands to explore and we had so much fun on our expedition. 

 My lil island explorer :)

Lotus Flowers

Who wants to ride a rickshaw :)

Can you spot the snake :

Monkeys

There were naughty orangutans and chimpanzees who would not sit still for a poise :)

Flamingos

The flamingos were inside because their habitat was being renovated. 

Fish

They have a nice aquarium with wonderful species of fish. And we found Nemo :)

Gift Shop

We got  nice some souvenirs from the gift shop.