An Open Letter To The Random Lady I Met At The Airport

Among the many problems our society has, the two main I feel are

1. Invasion of Privacy
2. Obsession with Boy babies

Our society is living in a delusional world where boy babies are set up on a high pedestal since the day they are conceived. The girls are not even considered human enough worthy to be a child. And sadly all this realization hit me when I conceived my first daughter. Wherever I went, whoever I met, irrespective of class, education and region, the only thing I heard was a prayer for a Boy. Ignored all the crap as much as I could, the feminist inside me grew stronger day by day.

Fast forward to 9 years of marriage and here I'm enjoying life with three little angels. Once travelling through Karachi airport I met a security officer while going through a regular check. So the ladies in our country are usually horrified upon seeing me with not one, not two but THREE girls. Oh Man, they think, how distressed my poor soul would be. So this seemingly nice officer took it upon herself to tell me that there is this very powerful WAZEEFA she is going to gift me. And added that even she followed it to have a boy baby after having three girls.

Lady!!! First of all kudos to you and your extreme audacity to comment on my personal life. Secondly, I hadn't much time and the place wasn't suitable enough or I would have explained it to you how wrong you are on SO many levels.

Setting the religious debate against wazeefas aside, let me tell you this is really none of your concerns that how many kids and of what gender will I reproduce.

The random suggestions and prayers thrown across in front of my girls is really dangerous for my young girls' impressionable minds. What would they think about themselves? They are going to question their own existence. That aren't they good enough for me or are they less of a human child for their mother. And it is equally poisonous for young boys around, who since a very tender age sense all the unnecessary attention they are given. 

Since long I used to hear stories of poor families who would neglect a girl child's rights of education or even basics of life. My mind used to question all the inequality in this world.

But NO! It happens even with the modern people too. Right here in the middle of a big city surrounded by so called educated people when I hear conversations like "May Allah grant you a son this time", or  "When are I and E getting a baby brother?" I start thinking is it really 21st century? Is it really an Islamic society and am I really talking to a modern age educated woman. Yeah!

By asking such questions and by showing sympathy to mothers with girls we really degrade and embarrass our own selves as a woman. We show it to the world that though we spend thousands on education our minds are still regressive. We still can't fathom the simple fact that girls are no less than the boys. We still can't seem to imagine a girl outside the kitchen. And we still think that as a parent only sons can be our future security.

This mindset is the foundation of patriarchy in our society. We as women complain about it from time to time, but have we ever thought that its us who start it since the very birth of a child. Its the fact that nurtures in the young minds of our children. And then when they step outside in the world they act accordingly. 

It is very rightly said that mothers build or destroy people as a nation. We as mothers have this huge responsibility to raise a generation which is more tolerant, free of ignorance and more inclusive.

So, next time you see a mother with only girls, travelling somewhere happily, please don't take it upon yourself to stop her and give unnecessary advice. Because first, it not polite or appropriate to be personal to strangers on a public place. And secondly, I don't need all that crap.

And to all the mothers out there who have been there and done that, stay strong and have faith. A day will come when our society will hopefully understand. 

Till then Cheers!!